You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
