Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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