I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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