I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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