i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
