"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
