____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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