Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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