I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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