right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
