I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize