im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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