you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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