I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
