...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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