I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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