god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
