even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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