Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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