Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
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Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
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Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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