She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
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