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Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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