So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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