My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize