This is not my ceiling
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize