where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
