How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
