We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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