It's Friday. Sex?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
