Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
