I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Randomize
