i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
