so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Houston, we have a blender
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
