I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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