i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
