I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
