College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
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