so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize