There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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