What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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