She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
