Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
