those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
