would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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