Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
