for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
