Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
