Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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