That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
