i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
