my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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