shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
