$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
