i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize