I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
