piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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