You can't motorboat a personality
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
