He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
