i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
