Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
