Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
