why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
My balls are so social today.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize