First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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